I’m dwelling at the tip of a cliff, I don’t know if I’ll dare to swim on water this deep. Then I realize I’m already underneath the surface, cool water is wrapping me into itself. I can see the surface high above me. Or am I wrong?
There’s a light up there, it must be the sun. I was wrong a minute ago, I thought I were on my way out into deep water, and suddenly I was deep down in it already. If I’m wrong now, if I fail to find the right way, if what I’m swinning towards is not the surface. Then… I keep swimming. I don’t understand where the strength in my arms come from. It’s streaming through me forcing me to swim faster, I’ll soon be out of air in my lungs. I’ll soon be…
I reach the surface. My mouth and troat is filled with water, I can’t breath. I hawk and coughs, swallow away water as where it food. I can breath, Oh God, I can breath. I see the light I thought was the sun. It’s not the sun.
Suddenly all my strength leaves me, my feet stop treading the water. My head, I have to keep my head above the water. I have to, I have to. His hands reach underneath my neck. He’s holding my head. I relax. He’s holding me. I can breath. And I breath. My chest lifts and lowers for every breath I take. I can breath. His light is shining on my face. My face is shining. I never knew my skin could be a mirror in this way, but it is.
Why are you holding me here, can you not lift me up?
It’s not time yet, he smiles.
I realize I’ve been here before. He smiles, and looks at me. Why do I feel so alive?
I am your life.
He looks at me. He looks at me like I am a shining diamond,
like I’m life,
love,
everything that is beautiful in this world.
His eyes are filled with love, with tears of joy. For me being here? He looks like I’m the most lovely person He has ever laid eyes on.
You are.
I know I’ll soon leave, there are strains of water tugging at me. I can’t resist them. But when can I leave the water? When can I be where you are? He smiles again, and my heart flutters with joy.
Soon.
And I see the truth in His eyes.
And I know, I know, that soon.
Soon I will come again, and He will lift me up from the water.
I will lay my arms around His neck, all the water will purl away from my body.
And we will dance.
And His loving glance, His joy and smile, His shining light will forever surround me.
I will never again have to die to myself and fight the waters to live with Him.
Because then,
soon,
I will be in Him.
I will be in Him as He is in me, as it was the meaning from the beginning of all times.
Jesus?
Yes?
Nothing, I just…
There’s a light up there, it must be the sun. I was wrong a minute ago, I thought I were on my way out into deep water, and suddenly I was deep down in it already. If I’m wrong now, if I fail to find the right way, if what I’m swinning towards is not the surface. Then… I keep swimming. I don’t understand where the strength in my arms come from. It’s streaming through me forcing me to swim faster, I’ll soon be out of air in my lungs. I’ll soon be…
I reach the surface. My mouth and troat is filled with water, I can’t breath. I hawk and coughs, swallow away water as where it food. I can breath, Oh God, I can breath. I see the light I thought was the sun. It’s not the sun.
Suddenly all my strength leaves me, my feet stop treading the water. My head, I have to keep my head above the water. I have to, I have to. His hands reach underneath my neck. He’s holding my head. I relax. He’s holding me. I can breath. And I breath. My chest lifts and lowers for every breath I take. I can breath. His light is shining on my face. My face is shining. I never knew my skin could be a mirror in this way, but it is.
Why are you holding me here, can you not lift me up?
It’s not time yet, he smiles.
I realize I’ve been here before. He smiles, and looks at me. Why do I feel so alive?
I am your life.
He looks at me. He looks at me like I am a shining diamond,
like I’m life,
love,
everything that is beautiful in this world.
His eyes are filled with love, with tears of joy. For me being here? He looks like I’m the most lovely person He has ever laid eyes on.
You are.
I know I’ll soon leave, there are strains of water tugging at me. I can’t resist them. But when can I leave the water? When can I be where you are? He smiles again, and my heart flutters with joy.
Soon.
And I see the truth in His eyes.
And I know, I know, that soon.
Soon I will come again, and He will lift me up from the water.
I will lay my arms around His neck, all the water will purl away from my body.
And we will dance.
And His loving glance, His joy and smile, His shining light will forever surround me.
I will never again have to die to myself and fight the waters to live with Him.
Because then,
soon,
I will be in Him.
I will be in Him as He is in me, as it was the meaning from the beginning of all times.
Jesus?
Yes?
Nothing, I just…
And then He assures me, as had I never asked:
I love you.
